Sometimes, I don't know what matters

Sometimes I want to be lost in the crowd
Not know anyone or known by any
Sometimes I cannot find the optimism in me
feels as if all is lost
Sometimes it feels as if I've done nothing in the last 21 years
& I don't know what to do with the rest of them
Sometimes it feels all "achievements" are trivial
victories, but a mere fantasy
& sorrow just for a instant, no more
Sometimes I don't know what matters
what had or what will
Sometimes it feels as if there is a greater purpose to life
only if I could it.