Taken from an answer on Quora.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
September 15, 2013
Funny story
January 15, 2013
May 5, 2012
November 26, 2011
The One thing even Rajnikanth cannot do . .
You have been tagged, you non-believer. How could even think there was something that Rajnikanth could not do.
Now Rajnikanth will come & hunt you down even in Hell, if he has to.
Anna Rascala!
November 25, 2011
Self composed one liners, statuses
Just to keep track of that random stuff. Call me a narcissist if you wish :P
- Your thoughts become your words & actions, rule over your thoughts & you shall rule the world.
- My Customer is my Brand Ambassador.
- I like my life simple, I like complications only in my watches.
- The day a girl tags me in a "married to" post, I'll know I'm in deep shit.
- If Sunny Leone & Sunny Deol got married & had a kid, their child's passport would say
Father's Name - Sunny Deol
Mother's Name - Sunny Deol - I am really bad with excel files. I should probably take a job in an investment bank so I can learn it in my 1st year.
- Ted Mosby sure takes a hell lot of time to tell a story.
- If you think I am rude to you, you cannot imagine how rude I am to myself.
- The beauty of voice & sadly it is abused
- Aptitude test for IITs! & this is not even from Faking News!
Govt. seems to be playing dumb, dumb & bumber with IITs! :-/ - Don't FACEBOOK your problems, FACE them.
- Not self composed this one - A boy to very rude girl - If i ever have to commit suicide I ll jump from your Ego level to your IQ level. :)
- Teacher: Where is the Capital of India?
Student: In Swiss Bank - the 44th top selling book on amazon is What Every Man Thinks About Apart From Sex & guess what, the book is blank!
- BTP completed, aisa lag raha hai jeevan safal ho gaya! lol
- Its just so strangely awesome that just as you are about to become an emotionless working machine, someone walks into your life & reminds you what being human is all about.
- God could not be everywhere, so he created Mothers
Devil could not be everywhere, so he created Girlfriends! - All forces of nature work towards one end, happiness :)
- Seek forgiveness and Forgive all!
- Let noble thoughts come to us from all directions, will never forget it. ( BVB Vidyashram )
- The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
- Its is never to late to seek forgiveness and forgive. It is always equally pleasant and harmonious to do so!
- Mickey Mouse is so lucky, he shares my birthdate!
October 10, 2011
iPhone 4S : Special Feature for India?
IPhone 4S Siri Demo.
If you have seen the IPhone 4S Siri demo, click here to skip the video & read the post, but if you haven't seen the demo yet, you should see it before reading the post.
Special Feature for India : What is the one feature you think should be added to Siri to make it a sure shot success in India?
If you have seen the IPhone 4S Siri demo, click here to skip the video & read the post, but if you haven't seen the demo yet, you should see it before reading the post.
Special Feature for India : What is the one feature you think should be added to Siri to make it a sure shot success in India?
October 3, 2011
No way an Indian could do this!
Some guy in Pennsylvania sent over 200,000 sms in a month & no Indian can beat this record, no matter what.
TRAI has made sure of it. - 100 sms/person/day limit imposed in India.
TRAI has made sure of it. - 100 sms/person/day limit imposed in India.
October 1, 2011
Innovation - Energy Saver Eletric Board
It went something like this,
"Remember how you feel when someone turns you on & leaves . .
Exactly,
Some smart ass created this amazing (read innovative) way to spread this message & (read painfully) remind people of it. Check it outSave Electricity!"
September 30, 2011
September 15, 2011
Entrepreneur & The Frog Princess
 |
| The Frog Princess |
September 9, 2011
God Paradox - by Satsang SMS
I really like this service called Satsang SMS, sometimes they send very inspiring sms
September 8, 2011
Secret of Creativity
No Kidding, This has been a secret from the beginning of the human race & finally it has been revealed.
September 6, 2011
August 27, 2011
Politics & Family : an anology
Son : Daddy, what is politics?
Dad : Your Mom cooks, so lets say she's the Goverment, I earn so me Officer, maid works so she'd be Labourer, you are public & our new born is the Future of the Country.
Son : I got it dad! Yesterday night, Officer was enjoying with the labourer in the kitchen, the Government was sleeping, nobody cared about the public & the Future of the Country was crying.
post originally shared by my friend Prafulla Shukla.
Dad : Your Mom cooks, so lets say she's the Goverment, I earn so me Officer, maid works so she'd be Labourer, you are public & our new born is the Future of the Country.
Son : I got it dad! Yesterday night, Officer was enjoying with the labourer in the kitchen, the Government was sleeping, nobody cared about the public & the Future of the Country was crying.
post originally shared by my friend Prafulla Shukla.
April 19, 2011
Funny Compilation : It happens only in India!
You may have seen some of these photos earlier, here's a compilation of all of them!
It Happens only in India!
April 16, 2011
Funny : Important Life Lessons
6 Important Life Lessons
Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Be...fore she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,… “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Lesson 5:
Power of Charisma A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
P.S. : Popular & old sms's combined together.
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Be...fore she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,… “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Lesson 5:
Power of Charisma A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
P.S. : Popular & old sms's combined together.
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