September 7, 2011

India - a tourist place for terrorists


Year 2002, India began the Incredible India campaign, not just in India, but all over the world.USA, Germany, France, Frankfurt, everywhere, there are posters of Incredible India.

The protagonist of the story is, "Al Bomb-ai B(h)last-er." Right now, he's thinking :

  1. I am in a very tense job, I need to think every moment how am I going to commit Suicide!
  2. This is our family business, we are into it since generations, maybe a few 1000 years. Anyway, the closest I remember is from the 1800s, my great-great-great....great grand father was a terrorist, blew up stuff, his brothers were operating branches in other countries. I have to innovate & take the business to new levels.
  3. So, I need a break, & when I say that I do not mean a break from life, but a temporary break so that I can think & innovate.
Just when he's thinking that, he sees the Incredible India poster. "Ah, nice!" he thinks, "just the place I want to go to." He calls up his travel agent, Trans-BOMB-porter, & says, tickets for 2 to India, I am travelling with my girlfriend, lets see how incredible it is.

So, the first terrorist & our protagonist, Al Bomb-ai B(h)last-er comes to India, he loves the country, it is so beautiful, there is so much corruption, he can do whatever he wants. He gave Rs.100 to the govt. & they gave him a ration card & he settles in India.

Now he's totally loving India, he thinks, India is incredible & he believes there is no place better to do his business than here because :
  1. You can get anything done here by paying a bribe.
  2. You can even become a citizen without any documents!
  3. There are so many people in this country, you could virtually get lost between them & none would know.
  4. He could his business (blowing up) anywhere & he'd get a lot of customers to accompany him to "heaven"!
So, Al Bomb-ai B(h)last-er thinks of doing a pilot project, (remember its generations old business, they have expertise & cunning business mind in blowing up things now!) so, he boards a B.E.S.T. bus & that is the first Terrorist attack on India in the year 2002, December 2002. The pilot project of terrorism in India went so successful, Al Bomb-ai B(h)last-er called all his twin "brothers" Al Bomb-ai B(h)last-er the second, Al Bomb-ai B(h)last-er the third & even a few cousins & by August 2003, i.e. less than a year they have more than quadrupled their turnover & have established a brand in India, known as "Uda de India!"

Their most successful ventures have been in Mumbai, after all it is the business capital of India, every business flourishes there. btw, over time they spread their legs in Jaipur, Delhi, Ahmedabad & Pune. After all this effort, it seems to be flourishing, if you Google Terrorism in India, you get more than 34 Million results, it seems the brand is attracting a lot of attention worldwide, I have so heard even Barack Obama talks about this brand!

A lot of their mates still come to India for vacation & they are welcomed with  open arms, due to the lax security & gross negligence.

After all, this is






Disclaimer : This is a satire. Personally I love India & the Incredible India campaign.

My heart goes out to all victims of any terror attacks in the world, I wish for these mindless killings to stop, how can we make them stop?

It is time for us to end their vacation!



8 comments:

  1. Nice write-up Sambhav! but a really sad situation..

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  2.  Very sad indeed. How lame can the government & the security agencies be? Its almost as if they have a contract with the terrorists, "as long as you don't explode more than 5 bombs, we don't care, go ahead & do it!"

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  3. incredibly written,though d topic is saddening.hopefuuly some day we will have a 'corruption free' India

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  4. Thanks. Do you think a corruption free India will also be terrorism free?

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  5. not completely but it might turn out to be a step towards 'terrorism free' India

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  6. Yeah.. in fact, i read somewhere that this was that was the 10th terrorist attack in 2011! 
    But now that a section of society has woken up, there is some hope.

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  7. That is when you are not counting Naxalites as terrorists! If you consider naxalites as terrorists, more than 200 districts (out of the 600 something) in India are affected by terrorism! That means, a third of India is under direct threat from internal terrorism!

    God save India!

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